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                Recently, Justin Parker, a dear friend, and brother of Valor Music joined us on a weekend trip to Pennsylvania. We sang and did our thing then Justin brought the Word. Knowing Justin, and knowing his heart for Christ, we were anxious to hear what God was speaking in him. To summarize his message with few words, Justin spoke about truly knowing God, being known by God, and the evidence of those things in our lives. He made a statement, however, in the middle of his message that shook me to my core. “Even the demons, who can NEVER be saved, know who God is and they tremble in his presence. Do we tremble? We who claim to know Christ, who claim to love Christ, we show up in His presence so nonchalantly.”  As soon as those words left his lips, I knew God was going to birth a song in me concerning the statement I had just heard. What I didn’t know was…God was going to use that song to bring me to my knees.

                A week had passed and I had only written the first sentence of the song, (which is a strange thing). Usually, it takes no more than a day, sometimes no more than 30 minutes to complete a song. I was stuck. It wasn’t “writers' block,” it was more the condition of my heart. You see, as we travel from church to church, we get up and sing songs that God has given us to sing. We invite people to engage in praising God for what He’s done and to worship Him for who He is, yet, more times than not…people sit and watch. There’s no praising. There’s no worshipping. Now, after the service, they’ll come to us and tell us how much they enjoyed it. “Boy, I loved that song, I so enjoyed hearing you guys.” (As if we were there for their enjoyment alone.) It makes me want to scream. I became so discouraged with the responses of the people sitting in front of me…or the lack of their response, rather, that I began entering His presence just as nonchalantly as they were. When God revealed to me the condition I was in, I wept. I got sick on my stomach. I was physically weak and broken. And then…don't you know…the rest of the song came. It came as a prayer, a cry, a desperation call. The lyrics God had me pen down were these:

Even the demons tremble in Your presence

Overwhelmed by the essence of who You are

But You’ve been waiting, anticipating, for my hands to raise in surrender

I don’t wanna leave, unshaken. Awake me from my sleep

I don’t wanna leave till you move me like you move the mountain peaks

I don’t wanna leave Your presence till You’re all that I can see. I don’t wanna leave.

Even the demons tremble in Your presence

Overwhelmed by the essence of who You are

Now, I’m waiting, anticipating, Your captivating presence Lord

I believe You’re moving me, I can see Your glory.

                The song was complete, but God wasn’t done with me yet. Once I realized that I had allowed others to dictate whether I worship or not, I vowed and committed to worship God no matter what. If we travel to the deadest church in the United States, you better believe I won’t let a demon out tremble me. I began to ask God how I got where I was…how do we get to a state of “stuck” without even knowing it? How has the Church become so lifeless? Are people embarrassed to raise their hands toward Heaven? Didn’t God have more in mind when He created the Church than this lifeless gathering of faithless so-called followers of Christ? I desperately needed to understand. Days and days of asking God these questions, I received no answer. This morning I was reading in the book of Luke and God spoke loud and clear. “One day Jesus left the crowds to pray alone. Only his disciples were with him, and he asked them, “Who do people say I am?” “Well,” they replied, “some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say you are one of the other ancient prophets risen from the dead.” Then he asked them, “But who do you say I am?” Right then, I had my answer. God said, “Haley, it doesn’t matter who others say I am. It doesn’t matter who I am to them. Who do YOU say I am? Who am I to YOU?  You see friends, if the Name of Jesus is just a casual name, then we won’t see Him for who He is. We’ll continue to leave our church services the same way we came; nothing will change. We’ll face the same battles, same issues, same family problems, same financial burdens. And if we don’t see Him for who He is, then we’ll miss Him altogether. And if we miss Him…there’s no worship or praise to be found in us. Who is Jesus to you? Who do you say that He is?

God answered one more time by taking me to the scripture of His crucifixion. As Jesus hung on the cross, beaten until he was unrecognizable, gasping for every breath, there was a crowd who stood and simply watched, arms crossed I would imagine. (As if to say, “it’s just Jesus.”) Soldiers mocked and taunted him, saying, “If You are the King of the Jews, save Yourself.” You see, they couldn’t see Jesus for who He was, therefore, they missed the fact that they were the very ones He was dying for. And because they missed it…no praise was found in them…only mockery.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “you can’t compare me to the Roman Soldiers who killed Jesus. I LOVE Jesus.” DO WE? Does love merely sit back and watch? Do we see Him for who He is? If we truly saw Jesus for who He is there’s no way we could leave His presence without being changed. There’s no way we could leave His presence without arms raised, knees bowed, hearts abandoned, wrong motives dropped, selfish ambitions surrendered. There’s no way.

My prayer is that God would get us to a place where we could learn to see Him for who He is. To get there….it may require pain. Whatever it requires, I pray that His people get there. I’m sick of missing God. I’m sick of watching others miss God. I’m sick of playing games and singing songs in the presence of people who are there for no other reason but selfishness. There’s more, my friends. God is waiting…He’s anticipating our hands to raise in surrender to all that He is. Who do you say that I am? What does My name mean to you? If you believe He deserves more than your casual appearance, and if you believe Jesus deserves more than your nonchalant attendance...I dare you to ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him to show you how Holy He is. When you see it...if you allow your hearts to be opened…you won’t let a demon out tremble you either.