(Blog) What Really Matters - Ep. 949 - July 23, 2026

What Really Matters When Hardship Changes Our Priorities

Love, relationships, and the presence of God remain important when hardship strips away life's distractions. Yet the demands of everyday life can pull our attention back toward bills, work, and what we've accomplished.

In episode 949 of The Smith and Rowland Show, we talked with Joel Goddard about how difficult seasons had changed our understanding of what deserves our attention. The conversation began with plenty of laughter before a brother's experience with cancer brought the question of priorities into focus.

Beards, mustaches, and the pound sign

Before the serious discussion, there were jokes about mistaken identities, bald heads, wig shops, and whether a beard needed care or simply some color. Todd Bentley became part of an extended joke about a conference, beard-care products, and a supposed sponsorship of the show.

The conversation also turned to the thick mustaches showing up on younger men. Baseball player Rollie Fingers came up as the mustache king, followed by the suggestion that young men were growing theirs because they wanted to look like Jeff.

Then came a family camping story that exposed a small generational divide. After returning from a grocery run, the family found the campground gate closed. The entry instructions were simple: "1 2 3 4 pound."

A son entered the numbers and waited. Only when his father said "hashtag" did the instruction make sense.

That led to more teasing about Rowland's use of "pound sign," including the observation that his wife, Haley, cringes when he says it. The laughter continued until the day's topic arrived: what matters when the jokes stop and life becomes uncertain?

Cancer can bring life's priorities into focus

The conversation turned to Joe, a brother who had received a cancer diagnosis roughly nine years earlier. His cancer was inoperable, he was receiving chemotherapy, and there wasn't much hope that treatment would work.

As the illness progressed, he reached a conclusion: "99%" of what happens on earth doesn't matter. He was describing the change in perspective that came when he was close to death.

Those of us who have faced cancer recognized what he meant. Things that once demanded attention can lose their importance when we begin to think our remaining time may be short.

Understanding life late in the journey

A father's words added another perspective: a person may not understand how to raise children until the children are already raised. He followed that thought with another:

"You never know really quite how to live life until it's almost over."

That observation led us to talk about trials as gifts God can use. Difficulty, hardship, and problems can bring us to an understanding that comfort hasn't produced.

The conversation didn't minimize the pain of those experiences. Cancer had brought the question close to home. But through it, we had seen how suffering could expose the difference between what occupies us and what matters.

Who God created us to be matters more than our work

Joel described a difficult season during the previous year when he had spent time away from his family. The separation was painful for him and for them, and it made him ask the Lord what mattered to him.

His answer began with identity. He had confused what he did with who he was.

Joel came to understand God's concern for the person God had formed in his mother's womb. He spoke about personality, gifts, eye color, and even, with a little humor, the lack of hair at age 54. Those were reminders that his life began with God's intention, long before any accomplishment.

He described himself as a "human being, not a human doing." That distinction helped him recognize how much of his identity he had built around activity.

As a result, his questions changed. Instead of concentrating on what he needed to accomplish, he began asking who God had created him to be. Following the Lord and listening to His voice became central to that process.

His family relationships changed, too. Joel began to see his wife and children with renewed attention to who they were and to his relationship with them.

Only God can fully define a person's identity

Our discussion of identity in Christ raised another concern: other people often try to tell us who we are.

Parents, friends, and people in ministry can speak into our lives. Yet their understanding has limits. Even a parent who knows a child well doesn't know that child as fully as God does.

The distinction matters because a person's identity can't rest on someone else's judgment. We can speak what God's Word says into one another's lives, but the Lord must bring that understanding home to each person.

There is also a mystery in knowing one another. We don't have complete knowledge of ourselves, much less everyone around us. We need the Holy Spirit's work in our own lives before we assume we can fully explain another person.

Allowing other people to supply the final definition of our identity can bring pain. Joel's experience pointed back to a personal relationship with Christ, where the question of who we are remains before the One who created us.

Worship includes looking for God in ordinary moments

Joel described worship as looking for God in everything. Singing and church services are part of that, but his understanding extended into the ordinary parts of a day.

Waiting in line at Publix can be a moment of worship. So can driving down the road or stopping to help someone change a tire.

In each setting, Joel's attention was on God's presence and activity. The grocery line and the roadside need were places to listen, notice, and respond.

He acknowledged that he had missed the Lord in many moments because his attention was fixed on what he was doing. As he began to understand his identity differently, he also began to recognize God in places he had previously overlooked.

That brought worship into daily relationship with the Lord. Listening to His voice and looking for Him belonged in the middle of ordinary responsibilities.

Time with family carries a value money can't buy

The difference between a present in the mail and an hour spent talking with a child became a simple way to discuss value.

For us, the hour together mattered more.

Joel called time his most valuable commodity. Because we have a limited amount of it, the way we spend it reveals something about our priorities. An hour with a son offers something a package can't replace.

That also clarified the discussion about cost. Some things that matter most require little money, yet they ask something of us personally. Giving attention and making ourselves available carry a cost that doesn't appear on a receipt.

We connected that thought with Peter's words about "like precious faith." Shared faith joins people through something precious that money can't purchase.

The same is true of expressing Christ's love to another person. Its value can't be measured financially. Presence and attention can matter more than an expensive gift.

Serving others can change the person who serves

Holding an umbrella for someone else

One image stayed with the discussion: a homeless man sitting on a curb in pouring rain, holding an umbrella over a stray dog.

The lesson was simple. We may do something for another person that we wouldn't do for ourselves.

That thought reached into marriage, family, and the way we respond to strangers. Someone may struggle to make a change for personal benefit, yet become willing when a husband, wife, child, or neighbor needs it.

We connected this with the call to esteem others above ourselves and with Jesus' teaching that love for one another identifies His disciples. Serving another person can also become part of God's work in us.

A grandfather's promise during a child's illness

Another family story concerned a girl, about 9 or 10 years old, who was hospitalized with Bright's disease. Her condition was so serious that the family expected her to die.

Her grandfather wasn't a believer, but he loved his granddaughter. He promised God that if she lived, he would quit smoking.

The account described a dramatic recovery the following day. Her grandfather understood it as God's answer to his prayer. He quit smoking and also became a believer.

His love for someone else moved him to make a change he hadn't made for himself. That was the connection to the larger discussion: when we get our eyes off ourselves and care for others, God can use that care to change us, too.

David's celebration raised the question of cost

Joel turned to the Ark of the Covenant as an expression of God's presence among His people. In his retelling of David bringing the Ark to Jerusalem, he emphasized David's determination to keep that presence close.

He described the celebration and its enormous number of animal sacrifices. His attention settled on the account of sacrifices becoming so numerous that people could no longer keep count.

Having grown up around farming, Joel pictured the work and expense involved. These were animals with real value. The scale of the sacrifice helped him consider his own response to what God was doing.

His takeaway concerned the habit of counting every personal cost.

When we want to participate in God's work, there comes a point when keeping an exact account of everything we've given can take over our attention. Joel saw the celebration around the Ark as a challenge to that habit.

The question reached beyond money. It included time, effort, and the willingness to remain involved when we could no longer calculate what we were getting back.

Keeping score can crowd out gratitude

Recognizing a personal warning sign

Joel described his tendency to track what things cost him as a "rumble strip." It warned him that he was moving away from what mattered.

Because time was so valuable to him, he could begin keeping an account of how much he had spent. Eventually, that accounting could become more important than God's presence or the person in front of him.

He connected that habit with entitlement. When he concentrated on what he had given, he could begin to believe he deserved something in return. Gratitude disappeared as that expectation grew.

The "dozen roses" exercise

Joel spoke plainly about where he had been:

"My gratefulness button was broken for a long time."

For about a month, he took part in an exercise called "a dozen roses." Each day, he wrote down 12 things he was thankful for.

He expected the task to be easy. At first, he struggled to come up with three.

That difficulty exposed how much he believed he deserved. As the practice continued, he experienced God restoring thankfulness in his life.

Joel described the process as a loving rescue rather than punishment. He connected it with giving thanks to the Lord because His lovingkindness endures forever.

At the same time, he recognized how quickly gratitude can slip away. The exercise brought a personal problem into view and helped him respond to God's work in it.

Obed-Edom wanted to stay near God's presence

The story of Obed-Edom brought the conversation back to pursuing God's presence.

The Ark had stayed in his house, and he had experienced God's blessing there. When the Ark moved to Jerusalem, our discussion emphasized that Obed-Edom went where it went.

We recalled his name appearing among those serving around the house of God: porters, musicians, harp players, psaltery players, and those who kept the doors. He seemed determined to take part wherever he could.

The point was his desire to remain close to the presence he had encountered.

That story gave a concrete answer to the earlier question about staying focused on what matters. Obed-Edom's pursuit continued after the Ark left his home. He found places to serve near it.

We recognized the same desire in our own experience with the Lord. An encounter with God's presence can leave a person wanting to remain close to Him for the rest of life.

Our pursuits reveal our priorities

When we discussed what pulls people away from that focus, the first answer was "bills." The laughter carried a familiar truth: ordinary responsibilities can consume our attention.

The day-in, day-out grind can make us forget what became clear during a crisis. After cancer has exposed how little certain things matter, everyday demands can gradually make those same things feel urgent again.

Still, what we pursue reveals what we value. If we keep chasing success, that pursuit shows its importance to us. The same is true of our marriages, children, and relationship with God.

This was also why the earlier stories about cancer mattered. In those moments, God's presence had offered satisfaction even in the face of death. Once someone has experienced that, the desire to pursue Him can remain stronger than other people's opinions.

What matters becomes visible in where our attention and effort continue to go.

Peter's response when others walked away

Joel recalled the moment when Jesus spoke about eating His flesh and drinking His blood. Many followers left, and Jesus asked the disciples whether they wanted to leave, too.

Peter's response expressed the attachment Joel was describing: "Where else are we going to go?"

After experiencing who Jesus is, another direction can't offer the same thing. That conviction doesn't mean a believer never struggles, however.

Joel also referred to Peter returning to fishing after denying Jesus. He saw that return as a picture of the pull toward the life a person knew before meeting the Lord.

Joel recognized that pull in himself. When he goes through a period without experiencing the Lord as he once did, he can feel drawn toward old ways.

Then he recalled Jesus' words to Peter: "Do you love me?" The call to feed His sheep followed.

The return to relationship with Jesus included care for others. Love for the Lord had an expression in tending the people entrusted to Peter.

Faith, hope, and love remain

The passage from 1 Corinthians brought the discussion together. It speaks about leaving childish things behind, seeing through a glass darkly, and knowing only in part.

Those words fit the limits we had been discussing. We don't yet see everything clearly. Our understanding of ourselves, other people, and life remains incomplete.

Yet faith, hope, and love remain, and the greatest is love.

That gave the conversation a clear center. The value of time with children, care for a spouse, service to a stranger, and gratitude toward God all connected with love.

It also returned us to the question raised by Joe's cancer experience. When so much of what occupies life loses its importance, love retains its value.

What remains when distractions fall away

Hardship had taught us to see the difference between being busy and giving ourselves to what matters. Joel's reflections brought that distinction into identity, family life, and gratitude.

Our pursuit of God's presence has an expression in the way we love people. Time together, attention, and willing service carry a value that accomplishments and possessions can't replace.

"Text generated by [rightblogger] based on (Smith and Rowland Video), What Really Matters - Ep. 949 - July 23, 2026"