(Blog) Why are Christians Falling Away from The Fullness of Love? - Ep. 991 - October 6, 2026

Christian Apostasy: When Love for Believers Grows Cold

If you've stepped away from church after being hurt, Alan Smith and Jeff Rowland ask you to consider what that distance is doing to your relationship with Christ. Their concern is the loss of love for fellow believers, especially when disappointment becomes a reason to withdraw from Christian life.

In Episode 991 of The Smith and Rowland Show, dated October 6, 2026, they connect apostasy with spiritual isolation, perseverance, and end-times prophecy. The conversation begins with a distinction from David Jeremiah: rejecting a faith once professed is different from never having believed it.

What Apostasy Means in This Discussion

Leaving a faith once professed

Smith and Rowland build their discussion around David Jeremiah's statement:

"Every apostate is an unbeliever, but not every unbeliever is an apostate."

An apostate, as they use the term, is someone who previously professed faith and later abandoned it. That person has rejected beliefs or convictions once claimed, whether for political reasons, personal disappointment, or another cause.

An unbeliever may never have professed Christian faith at all. Therefore, unbelief alone doesn't establish apostasy. As Jeremiah explains, someone who has never heard the gospel can't abandon a message they never knew.

This distinction keeps the conversation focused on people who have identified with Christ and then turned away from him.

Why cultural and religious differences aren't the same thing

The hosts caution against treating every social or cultural change as evidence of apostasy. They mention transgender identity among the issues they regard as error within their Christian framework, but they distinguish that judgment from the question of whether someone has abandoned a previously professed faith.

Likewise, Rowland says someone who has always taught that Muhammad is the way to heaven hasn't fallen away from Christianity merely by holding that belief. He describes it as religious error rather than apostasy.

In their view, people who have never believed need to hear the gospel, including Christ's love and forgiveness through his blood. Apostasy concerns those who know the Christian message, claim allegiance to Jesus, and later reject him.

Church Hurt Doesn't Automatically Mean Apostasy

Withdrawal after disappointment

Smith describes people who once looked forward to Sunday worship and couldn't wait for the next service. Then someone hurt them, something disappointed them, or a conflict changed their experience of church. Eventually, they decided not to attend anywhere.

The hosts acknowledge those wounds. They don't assume that someone who leaves a congregation has stopped loving God.

However, they challenge the idea that pain caused by Christians is a sufficient reason to abandon Christian fellowship indefinitely. In their experience, believers repeatedly face the difficulty of loving people who have disappointed them.

They describe church hurt as a familiar part of Christian life and learning to love difficult people as part of spiritual growth. They also recognize that this is a hard statement for wounded listeners to hear.

An important limit on judging attendance

Both hosts qualify their concern: absence from church isn't proof of apostasy.

Some people can't attend for reasons the conversation doesn't address. Smith makes clear that those circumstances aren't the target of their warning.

Their concern is deliberate withdrawal by someone who can participate but no longer wants to gather with believers. They regard that refusal as a serious warning sign, even while distinguishing it from a final judgment about someone's relationship with Christ.

Jeremiah's definition centers on rejecting Jesus, rather than a change in attendance or religious practice. The hosts retain that distinction while asking how rejection of Christ's people may affect a person's faith.

Why Isolation Makes Spiritual Life Vulnerable

Smith illustrates the danger of isolation with an African buffalo herd. The animals stay together, place vulnerable members toward the center, and face their horns outward. Their strength comes from remaining together.

A lion seeks to separate an animal from that protection. Once isolated, the animal is more exposed to attack.

For Smith, the local church offers a similar kind of protection. Its members aren't perfect, but their imperfections don't erase the value of belonging to the body. A believer who withdraws may become more vulnerable even before recognizing how far the separation has gone.

He describes that condition as falling without having reached the ground yet.

The hosts connect this illustration with the biblical instruction not to forsake gathering together. They believe fellowship is one of the means God has provided to support spiritual life.

Rowland also describes the church as a place of spiritual warfare. In his view, withdrawing can remove someone from active Christian service and make that person less of a threat to the devil. Yet he insists that the Lord continues calling the wandering believer.

Their argument is that staying connected matters because Christians need one another, even when relationships require patience and forgiveness.

When Spiritual Hunger Disappears

Rowland compares physical life with spiritual life. Living people seek food, water, and shelter because those things sustain them. Likewise, he argues that spiritual life seeks what strengthens it.

The practices he names include:

• Gathering with other believers.
• Reading the Bible.
• Praying.

He challenges the claim that someone possesses new spiritual life while showing no desire for anything that supports it. His language is strong: he says such a person may be destroying spiritual life or may never have possessed it in the first place.

He calls the refusal of spiritual nourishment "spiritual anorexia." The picture is of someone who stops praying, stops reading Scripture, and stops gathering with believers while saying, "I'm done."

Over time, the person's spiritual life diminishes. Rowland connects this with the biblical warning about having a reputation for being alive while being dead.

However, the hosts' central concern remains larger than an attendance record. They are asking whether a person is moving away from Christ and refusing the things God has provided for Christian life.

Isolation, in their discussion, is a reason for honest examination. It isn't a substitute for understanding the person's circumstances.

Love for Believers Reveals Spiritual Maturity

A recurring statement in the episode is, "I'm not rejecting Jesus. I'm rejecting those people."

Smith questions how completely those two decisions can be separated. He and Rowland believe that rejecting the church can become a rejection of Christ because the church is his body.

They connect spiritual maturity with love for fellow believers, drawing on Paul's teaching and the repeated emphasis on love in 1 John. A person's response to the brothers and sisters around them reveals something about their spiritual condition.

This is uncomfortable because it brings the discussion back to actual relationships. The question becomes how someone treats people who irritate, disappoint, or offend them.

Rowland also recalls Jesus' warning that the love of many will grow cold. He believes that this loss of love explains much of the falling away they see.

In their assessment, apostasy often begins with personal rejection or disappointment rather than a carefully considered change in doctrine. Although doctrinal error can play a role, they place much of their emphasis on damaged relationships and the refusal to love.

Therefore, the warning about falling away reaches beyond belief statements. It also concerns the way Christians respond to one another.

John's Repeated Message: "Have You Learned to Love?"

The account of the aging apostle

Smith recounts an account of the apostle John's final years in Ephesus. He describes John as the last surviving apostolic eyewitness of Jesus and says people came from across Asia to hear him.

The hosts mention John's connection with Rome, Patmos, and Ephesus, along with his return carrying the revelation he had received. Yet the part of the account that holds their attention is his repeated message near the end of his life.

According to the story Smith shares, John became too weak to reach the gathering place on his own. Other believers carried him in a small chair and set him before the people.

His message became a repeated question: "Have you learned to love?" He asked whether they had learned to love the brethren.

Smith doesn't give a firm duration for this period. The point of the account is John's persistence in returning to love.

The same question from Bob Jones

Both hosts say they personally knew Bob Jones, whom they describe as a prophet. They recall his question near the end of his life: "Have you learned to love?"

Smith says he hadn't initially connected Jones' words with the account about John. The similarity brings the discussion back to the same measure of Christian maturity.

They don't claim certainty about every detail associated with Jones. Instead, they focus on the question itself and its agreement with Scripture's emphasis on love.

God's Love Reaches People We Underestimate

Favoritism limits what believers receive

Rowland describes a situation in which someone has a meaningful word to offer, but the listener feels superior to that person. Pride makes the word difficult to receive.

He believes this refusal to value other people can damage fellowship and grieve the Holy Spirit. Christians may overlook another person's gift, calling, or contribution because they have already decided that person has little to offer.

The hosts connect this problem with James' warning about favoritism. Giving a well-dressed person an honored seat while sending someone in shabby clothing to the back treats appearance as a measure of worth.

They also recall Peter and John being regarded as unlearned and ignorant men. Education and social standing don't determine whether God can speak through someone.

For Smith and Rowland, love can't depend on perceived worthiness. Accepting people who are difficult to love, including those who have failed, tests whether believers are expressing God's love rather than personal preference.

A word from an eight-year-old girl

Rowland gives a personal example. One of the most profound words he ever received came from an eight-year-old girl.

He was on his way to preach somewhere, yet he couldn't stop thinking about what she had said. Her words stayed with him for hours and changed him.

He doesn't repeat the girl's message in the episode. His point is that God values every life, including people others might dismiss because of their age or status.

Spiritual Gifts and Sacrifice Can't Replace Love

The hosts turn to 1 Corinthians 13 to show why love can't be treated as optional.

They recall Paul's teaching that speaking with the tongues of people and angels, possessing faith that moves mountains, or making extraordinary sacrifices has no value without love.

This matters in a discussion about gifts, ministry, and calling. A person can appear spiritually impressive while failing to love the people nearby.

Smith and Rowland believe Christians need to appreciate what others bring to the body of Christ. When believers dismiss one another, they lose more than pleasant relationships. They refuse contributions God may have placed in the church.

Rowland describes God's love as extending beyond failure, pain, education, and the world's judgments of value. Loving someone only after deciding that person deserves it follows a different standard.

Their concern is that a church can talk about spiritual power while neglecting the love Scripture requires. In their view, that neglect contributes to the very falling away they are discussing.

Paul's Warning About Falling Away

The biblical starting point for the episode is 2 Thessalonians 2:3. Paul warns that the day under discussion won't come until the falling away occurs and the "man of sin," also called the "son of perdition," is revealed.

Smith and Rowland place this verse within the surrounding passage. In 2 Thessalonians 2:1-3, Paul addresses believers troubled about the coming of Jesus and their gathering to him.

He tells them not to become shaken by a claimed spiritual message, an oral report, or a letter supposedly sent by the apostles.

Rowland explains the Thessalonians' distress in terms of persecution. As he recounts the situation, Roman persecution and the killing of believers helped persuade them that they might already be living through the great tribulation.

He also describes a false message attributed to Paul as part of their confusion. Paul's response, in the hosts' reading, corrects the claim that the day had already arrived.

The hosts believe the present falling away fits this prophetic warning. They also recall Paul's warning to Timothy about people departing from the faith after listening to deceiving spirits and demonic teaching.

These passages give their discussion both a pastoral concern and an end-times framework.

How the Hosts Understand the Rapture

Smith and Rowland interpret the restraining force in 2 Thessalonians 2 as connected to the Holy Spirit's presence through the church.

In their reading, that restraint prevents the man of sin from taking full control. The restrainer must first be taken out of the way, which they identify with the rapture.

Rowland describes the Holy Spirit and the people in whom he dwells leaving the earth together. Once that restraining presence is removed, the man of sin can exercise his authority.

Their understanding places the falling away before the revealing of the man of sin, with the removal of the restraint allowing that revelation. Smith suggests that the rapture may occur toward the end of the falling away they are describing.

These are the hosts' interpretations of the passage.

Smith also reads Jeremiah's position that the next prophetic event is the rapture of the church. Christ will take those who have placed their trust in him to heaven, and no sign must appear before that happens.

The episode therefore presents both an expectation of the rapture and a conviction that believers are already witnessing apostasy. The hosts use prophecy to press the question of faithfulness now, rather than simply discuss future events.

What They Believe Happens to Those Left Behind

Smith doesn't believe the falling away must end when the church is raptured. He reasons that people may be at different points in their departure from faith.

In the hosts' view, some who remain will discover that their assumption of salvation didn't match their actual relationship with Christ. They connect this with Jesus' warning that some who claim to know him will hear that he never knew them.

Rowland says those people will face deception.

However, Smith also expresses hope that some will recognize what has happened and turn to Christ. He suggests that people who realize they missed the rapture may come to understand that they never surrendered their lives to him.

He describes this as a "second chance, so to speak," while emphasizing the severity of the circumstances. Those who remain faithful during the tribulation may face martyrdom and will need to endure to the end.

Smith presents this as his understanding of what may happen, rather than a guarantee about every person left behind.

His larger point is that outward confidence can be mistaken. A person may think they belong to Christ without having entrusted their life to him.

"They Went Out From Us": Profession and Perseverance

The discussion turns to 1 John 2:18-19. John tells his readers that antichrist is coming and that many antichrists have already appeared.

He then describes people who left the Christian community:

"They went out from us, but they were not of us."

Smith reads Jeremiah's explanation that, if those people had belonged to the community in the full sense, they would have continued with it. Their departure exposed something about the nature of their earlier profession.

This passage helps explain why the hosts distinguish between claiming Christian faith and possessing a living relationship with Christ.

Earlier in the episode, they speak about people who once appeared committed and then walked away. Here, they consider John's explanation that some departures reveal that the person's belonging was never complete.

The tension leads Smith to ask Rowland about an expression he often uses: "the fullness of faith in Christ."

For Rowland, that fullness concerns a faith that changes life and continues through hardship.

The Fullness of Faith Means Knowing Christ

More than knowledge about Christianity

Rowland draws a distinction between knowing about God and knowing God. He makes the same distinction concerning Jesus, Scripture, and spiritual truth.

A person can possess information about Christian teaching without experiencing the life that teaching describes.

He acknowledges that language doesn't fully capture what he means. Nevertheless, he describes the fullness of faith as a settled recognition that Christ is real, his word is true, and the believer chooses to trust him.

Intellectual knowledge has a place, but Rowland is concerned about people who remain occupied with facts without entering that relationship of trust.

Faith that continues under pressure

Rowland describes a believer who experiences discouragement without surrendering to it. Hardship may shake that person, yet it doesn't finally move them away from Christ.

Someone may feel battered on every side and still keep standing. They may not feel eager to continue, but they continue anyway.

He also mentions depression and frustration as experiences that don't have to end in abandoning faith. The fullness he describes gives a person a reason to hold on when emotions and circumstances are painful.

Trust, rather than personal perfection, is the distinction he emphasizes. The believer places confidence in Christ and chooses to remain with him.

For Rowland, that trust produces a changed life. Familiarity with Christian language alone doesn't produce the same result.

Institutional Christianity Can't Substitute for New Life

Rowland warns that people can participate in institutional Christianity without touching the heart of Christian life.

He illustrates the danger with the sons of Sceva. They invoked the names of Jesus and Paul, but the evil spirit's response exposed the difference between using those names and possessing spiritual authority.

The episode recalls the response in terms of recognizing Jesus and Paul while asking who these men were.

Rowland connects that example with Jesus' warning, "I never knew you." Someone can know about Christ while lacking the relationship they assume they have.

Both hosts expect that eternity will expose differences between outward Christian identity and genuine faith. Their concern is that religious participation, knowledge, and language can conceal the absence of a transformed life.

This brings the discussion back to perseverance and love. The faith they describe affects how a person lives, how they endure difficulty, and how they treat other believers.

Recognizing Drift Can Become a Wake-Up Call

Smith sees one possible benefit in recognizing the falling away: it can expose a person's condition.

He isn't celebrating apostasy. He is saying that someone who admits, "I'm moving away from the church and from Christ," may finally face what is happening.

Rowland agrees, but brings the warning back to relationships. He believes the cooling of love is a call to examine how believers respond to one another.

The episode also includes a direct appeal to former churchgoers who once worshiped, served, and honored God but now feel alone. Rowland describes them as wandering in a wilderness.

He believes the Holy Spirit may have brought some of those listeners to the program, even when their usual recommendations wouldn't have led them there. To people who feel abandoned, he says the Lord is calling them back.

His appeal separates disappointment with a minister from abandonment of the Savior:

"You can walk away from me, but don't walk away from Jesus."

The hosts' urgency comes from their concern for people who once participated in Christian life and now stand apart from it.

Remaining in Christ Includes Learning to Love

Church hurt can explain why someone stepped away. Smith and Rowland's concern is what happens when that distance becomes a refusal of fellowship, spiritual nourishment, or Christ himself.

They distinguish a warning sign from a verdict about someone's salvation. Yet they insist that love for fellow believers belongs at the center of any honest examination of faith.

The question repeated throughout the episode remains demanding: "Have you learned to love?" Their discussion of apostasy returns to that question because perseverance in Christ includes learning to value his people.

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