Forgiveness or Imprisonment? Choosing Freedom in Christ (Ep. 815)

Alan Smith and Jeff Rowland

Every day you and I stand at a crossroads: hold on or let go.

This reflection grows out of the core theme of “Forgiveness or Imprisonment? That is the Question - Ep. 815 - December 9, 2025”, and it presses a simple, hard question on our hearts: what kind of person do you want to be? Someone chained to old wounds, or someone learning to walk free in Christ?

Forgiveness is not weakness. But emotional and spiritual imprisonment is very real when we refuse to forgive. Many believers know what the Bible says about grace, yet still feel stuck when the hurt runs deep, the betrayal is close, or the damage will not stop echoing.

In this article, we will move through three key themes: what forgiveness is (and is not), how unforgiveness becomes a prison of our own making, and simple, biblical steps to walk toward freedom in Jesus. You do not walk this road alone. The One who calls you to forgive is the Savior who forgave you first.

What Does the Bible Really Say About Forgiveness?

Forgiveness sits at the very center of the gospel. God forgives us in Christ, and then calls us to forgive others. That pattern never changes.

In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to say, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” He links God’s mercy to our own mercy. Not because we earn His grace, but because a forgiven heart is meant to become a forgiving heart.

Forgiveness is not a bonus for “super” Christians. It is a clear command from Jesus. The tone of Scripture is strong, but it is also kind. God knows forgiveness is hard, so He gives His Spirit, His Word, and His people to walk with us as we obey.

Forgiveness in Scripture: From the Cross to Daily Life

Picture Jesus on the cross. Nails in His hands. Mockers at His feet. Friends gone. Pain in every breath. Into that scene He prays, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

That is our model. We forgive because He forgave us first. Our small acts of release flow out of His great act of mercy.

The early church followed this pattern. They blessed persecutors, welcomed enemies who repented, and refused to answer hate with hate. Forgiveness was part of their daily discipleship, not a rare event. The same is true for us today. To belong to Jesus is to live as a forgiven and forgiving person.

What Forgiveness Is Not: Myths That Keep Christians Stuck

Many believers stay stuck because of confusion. Common myths make real forgiveness feel impossible. Here are a few:

• Forgiveness is not pretending the hurt did not happen.
• It is not saying the sin was “no big deal.”
• It is not instant trust.
• It is not instant emotional healing.

You can forgive and still feel pain. You can forgive and still need wise distance. You can forgive and still say, “What you did was wrong.”

Forgiveness means you hand the right to pay someone back over to God. You release revenge. That can happen while your heart is still sore and your boundaries are still firm. Let that truth lift false guilt off your shoulders.

How Unforgiveness Becomes a Personal Prison

When we refuse to forgive, we often picture the other person behind bars. We tell ourselves that our cold silence or sharp words are a kind of justice. In reality, unforgiveness locks us up.

Bitterness eats at joy. Resentment twists how we see people who had nothing to do with the hurt. Worship feels flat. Prayer feels dry. Sometimes our bodies even carry the weight, with tight shoulders, headaches, and constant stress.

This is not God shaming you. It is like a loving Father pointing to the cell door and saying, “Child, the door is open. You do not have to live in there.”

The Hidden Cost of Holding a Grudge

Living with a grudge often feels like watching the same painful scene on repeat. You replay the words. You re-feel the moment. Small triggers bring a rush of anger, even on good days.

You lie awake at night, body tense, going over what you wish you had said. At church, you try to sing, but a face across the room pulls you into the past. Conversations at home get sharp, because the hurt inside has nowhere to go.

Jesus warned about this in His story of the servant who was forgiven a huge debt, then refused to forgive a tiny one. That servant ended up in torment. Unforgiveness does the same. It torments the heart that refuses to release.

How Bitterness Blocks Prayer, Worship, and a Close Walk With God

Scripture links forgiveness and our walk with God. Jesus told us that when we stand praying, we should forgive anyone we hold something against. He connects our horizontal relationships with our vertical one.

A bitter heart struggles to trust God’s goodness. Gratitude dries up. Praise feels fake. We may keep serving at church, yet find ourselves shutting down when we hear sermons about grace.

God is patient, but He does not ignore this. He keeps calling His children out of that prison. Ask yourself honest questions: “Do I avoid certain people at church?” “Do I change the subject when someone mentions that person?” These may be warning lights on the dashboard of your soul.

Choosing Forgiveness: Practical Steps Toward Freedom in Christ

Forgiveness or imprisonment is not just a sermon title. It is a daily choice. The good news is that you do not make this choice alone. The Holy Spirit helps you do what your flesh does not want to do.

Think of forgiveness as a journey with clear steps. You bring your wound to God, you name the hurt, you decide by faith to forgive, you set wise boundaries, and you repeat the choice when old feelings rise again. Every small, honest step matters to God.

Step 1: Bring Your Wound and Anger Honestly to God

The first step out of prison is simple, but not easy: stop pretending with God. Tell Him the story as you see it. Where you were. What was said. How it still hurts. What feels unfair.

The Psalms show us this kind of prayer. God’s people cry out, complain, and even ask hard questions. God can handle your raw words. When you put the hurt in His hands, you stop carrying it alone.

Step 2: Decide to Forgive by Faith, Not by Feelings

Feelings rarely move first. Forgiveness starts as a choice to agree with God even while emotions lag behind.

You might pray something like: “Lord, because You have forgiven me in Christ, I choose to forgive (name). I give You my right to pay them back. Heal my heart and change my feelings over time.”

You can write this in a journal or say it out loud. Mark the choice. You may need to repeat it, but that first “yes” matters.

Step 3: Set Healthy Boundaries Without Hardening Your Heart

Forgiveness is not the same as trust. Trust is rebuilt over time with true change. In some cases, love requires firm limits or distance.

You may forgive a gossiping friend, but still decide not to share sensitive news. You may forgive a harmful family member, but choose not to be alone with them. Forgiveness releases revenge to God, while boundaries guard your heart so it can heal instead of staying bitter.

Step 4: Practice Daily Release and Prayer for Your Offender

Old memories will rise. When they do, you can either feed them or release them again. A simple daily prayer can help: “Lord, I release this pain to You again. I bless (name) and ask You to work in both of our hearts.”

Each time you pray this, the grip of anger weakens a little. God sees every tear. Every small act of release makes you more like Jesus, who blessed those who hurt Him.

Living as a Forgiven and Forgiving Disciple of Jesus

Step back and see the bigger picture. You are a person who has been forgiven much. That is your core identity in Christ. From that place, you are called to become a person who forgives much.

A year from now, your life could look different. A lighter heart. Softer words. Deeper worship. Stronger witness at home, at church, and at work because you chose not to live in the jail of resentment.

You do not have to walk this road alone. Talk with a trusted pastor. Pray with a friend. Write a letter you may or may not send. Take one clear step into the light.

Conclusion

In the end, the choice is simple, even if it is hard: hold the hurt and stay stuck, or place the hurt in God’s hands and begin to walk free. Forgiveness is not forgetting, excusing, or removing every boundary. It is releasing your right to pay back and trusting God’s justice more than your own.

Choose one step today. Pray the sample prayer. Write your pain out before God. Speak one sentence of forgiveness by faith.

Jesus opened the prison door on the cross. By His Spirit, you can walk out into freedom, one honest choice at a time.